As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
There are certain attacks from satan which strike at people in gender in their identity. For men it is testicle cancer, as they become who they are at puberty and for women it is breast cancer as that is when they transform from girls to women.
For Nancy Reagan she had a rough time of it for a few months in the White House, as her husband was ill, then she was diagnosed with breast cancer and then her mother died.
People need support in times like this, but some people are incapable of support. They end up saying things which offend, when all that is required is to tell them that you love them, that they will soon recover and offer to do something for them if they need anything done
For Mrs. Reagan she had a surprise phone call from her daughter Patti. A surprise, because the daughter refused to communicate with her mother or her family in being an upstanding liberal.
The conversation was rather stiff, and went on about them thinking of her and how she was feeling. Thinking, but not a mention of love, but Patti weighed in, in telling her mother that she needed to get reconstructive breast surgery immediately.
Mrs. Reagan stated that she just got out of major surgery, needed time to heal and was just taking one day at a time. She still had the drain tubes in her.
That was the best that Patti Davis could do for her Mother, and Nancy Reagan searching for answers thought perhaps Patti simply did not have anything to say so that is what she came up with.
In forensic psychology, Patti Davis conversation points to a "fixer". She needed to fix her mother, because she could not fix herself. She need her mother to have tits, because Patti Davis had absolutely no self esteem and without her tits she would lose all semblance of what validated her.
I have never given people the excuse of not having empathy. Empathy is something like riding a bike, you learn to do it in proper manners. You choose to be a son of a bitch, because you want to be a son of a bitch.
You are not going to fix people, so stop being like Job's friends who started trying to fix him when he was covered with boils, and shut your mouth as they first did in just being miserable with him.
An adult should pretty well have this shit figured out by the time they are 30 years old if they are not completely bone to the brain. You see in movies or in situations of comfort how others act and you pick up on what works if you are completely incapable. When my dad died, I was in my 20's and had no idea what to say really if others died, but my godfather said to me, "You have our sympathies". I thought at the time, that was a pretty good thing that wrapped it up, so from that point on I always have said that, as what follows is a handshake or hug, and the people open up, talk about their loved one and you agree how special they are in adding a short story which portrays them as a good person.
Even sociopaths can fake concern, so people need to stop being bested by sociopaths and start acting human.
Mrs. Reagan was also hammered by the always experts in she should not have had the breast removed, but just the lump. That is a personal decision, and it is no person's business but the person being treated what treatment they choose. The media and attention whore doctors though always are second guessing everything and doing harm. You support what people decide and you never add to that burden as the last thing any person needs is to be debating, fighting or defending what they did which was best for them.
This conversation hurt Mrs. Reagan enough that she mentioned it in her memoirs, like she mentioned Patti hurting her several times.
That is the life and times of Nancy Reagan as a reminder in the last thing people under stress need.
agtG